The Mission Beneath the Mission
Why Faithful Service Requires the Whole Person
Have you ever woken up in a panic on the floor with people standing over you?
I have.
It happened while I was a twenty-five-year-old missionary in East Africa. One moment I was sitting happily with friends, eating ice cream. The next, I passed out and began seizing.
From that moment, my life changed.
I was rushed to a hospital, where I spent the next week. The doctors ran what felt like every test imaginable, searching for an explanation. They found nothing.
Then a nurse from my missions organization came and sat at the foot of my bed. I’ll never forget what she said: “Bradley, there are no physical issues, but mentally and emotionally you are very unhealthy…and you need help.”
Though not at the time, today I can see that conversation as a gift.
If I could offer one piece of advice to those pursuing a life of missional obedience, it would be simple:
Don’t be like me.
The Mission I Didn’t See
I’ve now had fifteen years to make sense of what happened. A lot was going on with that young missionary. But beneath all the complexity was a simple problem: I had not embraced spiritual formation as central to God’s mission.
By spiritual formation, I mean the lifelong journey of being conformed to the image of Christ for the glory of God and the sake of others. It is more than practicing spiritual disciplines, though habits such as prayer and Bible study are essential. Spiritual formation is learning to desire what Jesus desires and becoming more fully who he created us to be.
As much as I loved Jesus, spiritual formation was not my deepest desire.
Instead, I was driven by an incomplete understanding of mission. I thought almost exclusively about what God wanted to do through me to bring the nations into obedience to Christ. What I failed to see was that mission is also about what God wants to do in me.
I had crossed an ocean because I believed God was transforming people. What I did not yet understand was that I was one of those people.
The Soul Beneath the Surface
The first step toward embracing this vision of mission is learning to see yourself as more than a mind carrying a set of beliefs or a body accomplishing a task. Rather, you are an embodied soul.
Created in the image of God, you are profoundly complex. Much of your life is visible above the surface—your decisions, habits, strengths, and actions. But beneath the surface lies a deeper world of desires, motives, fears, wounds, and longings.
Mission has a way of activating all of it.
The challenge is that a missional life often rewards activity. There are languages to learn, relationships to build, and needs to meet. In that environment, slowing down to pay attention to your soul can feel unnecessary, even wasteful.
Yet Jesus did not come merely to redeem the visible parts of our lives. He came to redeem the whole person.
The wounds beneath the surface.
The desires we barely understand.
The places where fear, grief, and longing silently shape us.
He intends to redeem all of it.
Learning to Slow Down
One of the first lessons of spiritual formation is surprisingly simple: slow down.
Writers such as Dallas Willard, Alan Fadling, and John Mark Comer have all emphasized this truth in different ways. Yet for many aspiring to zealous obedience, it can feel almost impossible.
Can you happily be still?
Silence and solitude are not luxuries for the Christian life. They are among the ordinary ways God cares for our souls.
What often surprises us is what emerges when we finally slow down. As the noise subsides, we begin to notice what has been hidden beneath the surface. Sometimes it appears emotionally—a persistent frustration, sadness, or anxiety. Sometimes it appears physically—a heaviness in the chest, tension in the shoulders, or a lingering sense of exhaustion.
Rather than dismissing these things as distractions or signs of spiritual weakness, we can receive them as invitations. Remember, you are an embodied soul.
What surfaces in stillness is often revealing the places where God desires to bring healing, freedom, and deeper communion with himself.
Recognizing Weakness and Receiving Help
Physical and emotional health are not separate from spiritual health. They are bound together because we are whole persons before God.
When I was released from the hospital, I spent the next month in intensive counseling before returning to my place of service. It was there that I began to understand what had been happening. I had carried depression and anxiety for years, reaching back into experiences of trauma.
It was not only the trials of missionary life that had overwhelmed my body. It was a suffering soul, long neglected beneath the surface.
Your story may not include the same wounds. But in a fallen world, where we literally enter it bruised and crying, all of us carry suffering in some form. And everyone who passionately serves Christ will experience loss, limitation, and grief. Wise preparation, then, involves more than doctrine and skill. It involves learning to bring compassion and attention to our weakness.
This is one reason I often encourage emerging leaders—especially those aspiring to missionary service or church ministry—to find a Christian counselor before crisis requires it.
Counseling is not a sign that you are unfit for the work. It may be one of the ways God prepares you for it—and keeps you in it. At the very least, it can help you establish a relationship with someone wise and trustworthy, someone you can turn to when you need support.
More Than Service
There is much more that could be said.
Practice sabbath.
Eat, sleep, and exercise well.
Make room for friendship.
Learn to lament.
But the larger invitation remains: do not be like me.
Do not wait until your body breaks before you begin listening to your soul. Do not cheapen the value of the work he is doing in you.
For years, I thought mission was primarily about what God wanted to do through me. I now see that my spiritual formation was never secondary.
Christ is not in a love relationship with your service. He loves you.
And because he loves you, you are free to embrace the mission beneath the mission.1